"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
