he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
