Well apparently he's into motor boating.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
