I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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