just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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