i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
