dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
