What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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