Sry I called you an 8
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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