R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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