i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize