WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
