it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
