5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
