I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
