but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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