No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
