Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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