real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
