I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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