I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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