Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
