Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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