You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
