doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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