so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
