Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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