So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
