that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
