She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
