Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
