What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
