Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
