Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
