I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize