I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We need to get me chipped asap
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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