I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
