Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
