we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
