i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
