garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
