It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
