My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
