Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
