fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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