I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
