Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize