I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
