so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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