I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
