Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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