i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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