'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
