He is an equal opportunity slut.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I intend to get homeless drunk
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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