Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Everyone says I win the strip club
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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