She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize