is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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