Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
