Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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