shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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