One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
